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Tuesday, July 1st, 2008

Time:1:20 pm.
My mom (or maybe dad but I bet its my mom) got me a subscription to the Catholic Spirit (my home archdiocese's newspaper) to be delivered to me at school! SO CUTE! Also now I will get a weekly dose of ~Archbishop Nienstadt~, my number two priest crush, and maybe some Fr. John Paul Erickson bonus columns! EEEEEEE!
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Monday, June 23rd, 2008

Time:3:06 pm.
Go here to order your Vision 2009 guide:

http://www.vocation-network.org/orders/new


It's like a big brochure of all sorts of religious orders, male and female, mostly (if not completely) American based, plus articles, etc., and its WONDERFUL for discerners, I have flipped through mine many a time to find a convent to visit. And it's FREE!
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Saturday, June 21st, 2008

Time:10:23 pm.
I love this little community of LJ-ers who are discerning vocations who are all friends with each other, because it fills me with glee when I see person A quoting person B. As much as I am not good at updating my LJ I always know if I read my friends page I'll find wisdom and goodness, so thank you all.
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Monday, June 16th, 2008

Time:10:46 pm.
A few nights ago Iris (the 3.5 year old I'm living with) was throwing a fit so her mom put her in time-out in her room. And Iris started screaming about the door being locked and her mom, Frances, said, "Just because you can't open the door doesn't mean it's locked."

And I can't get that out of my head. I think that explains a ridiculous amount of my difficulties, in that when I fail at something, I feel as though God has locked the door, but really, truly, just because I can't open it yet doesn't mean it's locked.
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Saturday, June 14th, 2008

Time:10:18 pm.
Here's part of the e-mail I just sent my spiritual director, if I can still call him that as I have not heard from him in a month.

I've been trying to start working God into my daily plan like you suggested and I'm having a really difficult time. I also was not liking Theology of the Body (the parts I was reading just weren't calling to me at all) and so I've been neglecting my spiritual reading. But on a whim I picked up Interior Castle by Teresa of Avila and hopefully I can get myself back into it. I'm also still having trouble with the specific virtue (I think that's what you called it?) I feel like every problem I have is so big that I can't find only one small part to concentrate on, or when I do pick a small part, I don't even last a day, and it is very discouraging. I'm also going through some aridity, which the previous things probably are not helping, but in general, I'm trying really hard to get in the swing of things but just can't get back over that first bump.


So that's basically it right now, I just feel blah and sinful and bad and can't get myself going for the life of me.
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Monday, June 9th, 2008

Time:12:28 am.
God kicked me in the face today, namely, I walked 25 minutes (each way!) in the 95 degree heat to church, and the opening song was God of Day and God of Darkness aka my favorite song and it's just like... ok Lord you are right about me, and I know that I'm only happy when I'm with you, so I should just listen and be with you. But yet every time I fall away and am lukewarm but once I get back in church I know I'm happy. It's just a matter of I have to be stronger than the society I live in, and that is HARD.

I'm also becoming really attracted to the idea of head covering. Especially in church, but almost all the time. I don't want to wear a mantilla, but I'd be down with a different covering, such as this (which I might have gotten from someone on my flist. I don't remember. I also really want to get myself a veil. I feel like having a veil would be very helpful. This one is my favorite.

The problem with the veil is its obvious nun connotations and I don't want to be representing myself as a sister when I'm not a sister. The Jewish head coverings are much more 'stylish' in that I will likely be asked less questions about it, but if I start wearing them all the time, I feel like people will think I'm sick and losing my hair, and that's not something I want to be representing either. And I don't know how people would react if I said 'I just feel like I should be practicing head-covering.' I'm guessing not well. Maybe with a latter paycheck I'll get a headwrap and see how it goes. Any suggestions/advice?
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Friday, June 6th, 2008

Time:3:31 pm.
Ganked from metanoia:

Never say to God “Enough”; simply say “I’m ready”.

- Blessed Sebastian Valfre




which just hit me like a brick. I've been going through hard core spiritual dryness, and I hate thinking or talking about it so I avoid it, but keep me in your prayers cause I'm having a really hard time. I haven't heard from my SD in about 3 weeks - he missed a meeting on the 21st of May and then was going to be out of town for a month but never contacted me about the missed meeting so I don't really know what's going on. And I feel like a heathen etc. etc. and it's just... not going so well, but hopefully things go better soon, once I settle into a schedule.
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Time:3:25 pm.
HECK YES I just bought this shirt

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Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

Time:10:44 pm.
Catholic joke of the day!!!!



Stolen from stuffcatholicslike.com!
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Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

Time:12:56 pm.
I got a letter from Archbishop Flynn today!!!!!!!!

I wrote him a letter a few weeks ago and he responded and it totally has made my day complete!!!
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Sunday, May 4th, 2008

Time:6:43 pm.
For the past 6 weeks, every Sunday the homily has at least mentioned vocations, if not completely being all about vocations, and I probably am reading too much into it, but I can't help but feel extra special. Now I just wish Fr. Tom would do the game where he calls people out in mass so I can find out who else is considering a vocation currently!
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Saturday, May 3rd, 2008

Time:8:49 pm.
Prayer of Thomas Merton

My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me
Nor do I really know myself,
And the fact that I think I am following your will
Does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you
Does in fact please you.
And I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this,
You will lead me by the right road
Though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though,
I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
And you will never leave me to face my struggles alone. Amen.
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Thursday, April 24th, 2008

Subject:recently written down quotes
Time:1:58 am.
"Remember that even if you had the sea in front of you, you should not take more than you need." - Blessed Mariam Baouardy (Mary of Jesus Crucified)

All the rest are Bonhoeffer:

"I should like to speak of God not on the boundaries but at the centre, not in weaknesses but in strength, and therefore not in death and guilt but in man's life and goodness."

"We are to find God in what we know, not in what we don't know."

"Above all, we should never allow ourselves to be consumed by the present moment, but should foster that calmness that comes from great thoughts, and measure everything by them."

"What is happiness and unhappiness? It depends so little on the circumstances, it depends really only on that which happens inside a person. I am grateful every day that I have you, and that makes me happy."
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Sunday, April 20th, 2008

Time:4:10 pm.
I'm reading 'Letters and Papers from Prison' by Dietrich Bonhoeffer for my Intro to Christian Theology class, and I mean, he is amazingly beautiful - any Christian should read him (he is a Lutheran, and while I would normally be a bit wary of reading non-Catholic writers for spiritual guidance, he is amazing and completely worth it / not to be worried about).

He has a section called ' Stations on the Road to Freedom' and this part is just... wow.

Suffering.

A change has come indeed. Your hand, so strong and active,
are bound; in helplessness now you see your action
is ended; you sigh in relief, your cause committing
to stronger hands; so now you may rest contented.
Only for one blissful moment could you draw near to touch freedom;
then, that it might be prefected in glory, you gave it to God.
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Friday, April 18th, 2008

Time:10:22 pm.
Popestravaganza continues!

http://www.newsweek.com/id/132074>1=43001

A Peek Inside the Popemobile.


A+++++ POPE
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Wednesday, April 16th, 2008

Time:12:32 pm.
glitter logo maker - http://www.sparklee.com



(that means Pope Birthday!!!!)


This Pope visit has got me all in a tizzy, it's a good thing I'm not actually seeing him because I would be ridiculous
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Tuesday, April 15th, 2008

Time:7:29 pm.
Sparklee.com - http://www.sparklee.com


If you don't already know this, you can check out what the Pope is doing at www.uspapalvisit.org

I LOVE THE POPE, I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS
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Monday, April 14th, 2008

Time:2:40 pm.
So I met with Fr. Marty today, my first real spiritual direction hurray! He is involved in Opus Dei, and also prefers to meet in confessionals, both of which are slightly odd to me, but he has already given me wonderful advice so I'll be fine with it.

First goals:

-Schedule 15 minutes (exactly!) of spiritual reading a day. No more, no less. Also only read one book at a time - so I am going to finish them in the following order:

1. Revelations of Divine Love
2. Mariam: the Little Arab
3. Encountering Mary

I think those are all the books I am spiritual-reading right now, I'm not ever entirely sure.

-Start working on virtues. Pick a small part of a virtue, and ask yourself 3-4 questions a couple times a day and try and get them to be all 'yes' answers. So that is going to take some time to figure out what I want to work on - I have big goals but they need to be little ones - also I am in class now, so this is not a good time to be actually thinking.


So yeah. He basically said that he thinks I'm in a good place, I'm starting to know myself and this is important, vocations are like dating, I need to finish school, um I think that's about it. Also he recommends getting a ntoebook, I could use my blue book, but he thinks it should be with me all the time and I'm not entirely willing to carry my blue book everywhere because if it gets lost I will pretty much die.


So there we go.

POP QUIZ FOR EVERYONE:

What are some spiritual reading books (either the 'classics' or more modern or criticism or biographies) that you have enjoyed / found helpful?
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Saturday, April 12th, 2008

Time:10:59 pm.
A few things:

1. Today talking on the phone to my mother, about my class dilemma (she votes Religion), she said, 'And since I still consider your becoming a nun a very real possibility" and I was like "Yeah..." and it so true.

2. Last week in Atelier class, we were doing flash questions, and the question was, "If you could hear God say anything to you, what would it be" and my answer was "Drop out of school right now." and that is so very much true.

3. I am writing letters right now, I just wrote one to Archbishop Flynn and I'm going to write one now to Archbishop Nienstedt, and I am all teary and crying and part is because its April and part is because I just love them so much but mostly its because I don't want to have to finish school. I really, really, really don't.




4. I have a meeting with my NEW SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR (and the crowd goes wild! This has been TWO YEARS in coming) on Monday. I'm sort of nervous, mostly because Fr Marty makes me sort of nervous because he is very careful, but I hope it goes well. I am going to try really hard to be open to what he tells me, because I don't think anyone is going to tell me what I want to hear (which is: you don't have to finish school) (but again I feel like I'm just emotional, I have no idea) - really I just need someone or something to give me some sort of direction, and I'm hoping Fr. Marty can at least be partially of use in this. I need to take responsiblity for my own decisions, but I've just been floundering around in the dark for so long, a little bit of help is going to be much appreciated.
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Thursday, April 10th, 2008

Time:12:14 pm.
p.s. I just found this website:

http://www.catholic-hierarchy.org/bishop/bflynn.html

(that's linked to Archbishop Harry J. Flynn, who steps down on May 2nd)

MY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME I am already fascinated!!
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LiveJournal for Erica.

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